Today was the Top 3% banquet and I have to say it was fun. The food was pretty okay, but the bread was the shit. I started getting my award and yeah, glad that I was next to this fool Remy because I love him! Nice, but really funny. After the rest of the students went. The seniors got on stage and prepared a speech. I must say the speeches and seniors inspired me to become a better student. Hard work pays off they say, and it does. One of the seniors up there that I knew has an amazing speech. His name was Charles, and he talks about all the things that went on in his high school year. Then he tells the audience that he wasn’t going to college, but going to Germany as an exchange student. He says he didn’t he wanted to pursue yet and that came to my mind that I didn’t either. I know I’m young but I really am jealous of the people that do know what to do. I do all this hard work but what for? I don’t quite have a goal yet, and I don’t if I ever have a goal it would be a good one. Hopefully these next few years I decide what to do and actually push myself to the limit and strive for my goal. The other seniors who are going off to college and doing well in school I’m really happy for them, especially because they know what they want and can push themselves into getting it. I want to start getting into more extracurricular activities. I also will try to be in IB program so I can have a better application for college. I know I’m still young, but I’m planning for my future. The challenge is on with the work I’m getting, I’ll try less to procrastinate. 

They don’t give me the freedom I deserve. No, I’m not the best in school nor am I the worst, actually I’m in top 3% and they still don’t think it’s good enough, their standards are so high and that is why I don’t get the freedom I deserve. They don’t understand that I’m already trying hard, why can’t they be like any other parent out there. I wish the limit would be different. Is it because I’m a girl? I just want to have one night where I can do whatever the fuck I want and I seriously can’t want until I’m off to college and get away from them. I wish they would trust me more and I wish they would understand me more. Now I’m going to spend the rest of my night feeling like shit. It might seem like I’m overreacting, but put yourself in my shoes and have strict parents. Not so great. 

Duuuuude, that episode was soo intense